I need wings

The other day my buddy and his wife took me over to Costco so I could shop for snacks and stuff to bring on deployment. I bought a huge bag of almonds, an extra large case of Diet Pepsi, some candy bars, and a big box of those single-size french vanilla coffee creamers. The biggest purchase I made was four cases of Red Bull, which I drink on watch to help keep me awake. Each case has 24 cans and costs $32, so I spent over $120 on Red Bull alone.

I know it sounds excessive, but it really isn't. If I drink one per watch, the 96 cans I bought won't even last me four months. Even if I drink coffee on occasion, my stash won't get me through the whole deployment. The problem with drinking coffee is that if I drink too much, it will go right through me and I'll have to use the bathroom during watch. Unfortunately, we are not allowed to go to the bathroom during watch, which is usually between 4-5 hours. One can of Red Bull could do the same thing as a couple cups of coffee without having to do the peepee dance for the last two hours of watch.

Maybe I should buy some chocolate-covered espresso beans or those Starbucks Doubleshots. Anything to keep me awake through those long hours of watch.